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Diane Kramer

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Getting to Self-Love and Compassion

By Dr. Diane Kramer My Own Story First childhood dream I remember – Was of me standing in front of kitchen sink and opening the lower cabinet door. A bunch of hornets swarmed out and attacked me. Yes, attacked me! I felt the pain in my dream. Thinking about the dream as an adult –...
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The Critical Inner Judge – Friend or Foe?

What??? Am I really suggesting that your Critical Inner Judge can be a friend instead of a foe? For many, the Inner Judge is a troublesome part of self who launches inner attacks that make you feel ashamed, guilty or deficient in some way. So, how could that critical angry-sounding Inner Judge possibly become a...
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Do You Need to Love Yourself In Order to Love Others?

The answer according to most psychologists is: “It depends!” I know, that is a very unsatisfying response, so let’s dig a little deeper. If you loathe yourself, it will be very difficult to really love another. It is hard to mask self-hatred. It gets in the way of expressing loving feelings and in the way...
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Love or Fear Instinct? Impact on Predicting Relationship Behavior

By Dr. Diane Kramer, Extraordinary Self Online Programs Co-FounderA patient in my marital therapy practice said to me yesterday: “Dr. Diane, I used to trust my gut. Now I am not sure.” I reassured her (let’s call her Anna) that she was on the right track by doubting her gut. Why? Her gut feelings were...
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8 Key Abilities that Transform Lives to Extraordinary

Digging into the Roots of Success In 2004, our startup team of Neuro-Linguistic Programming Trainers and Psychologists analyzed why some individuals were highly successful and emotionally positive, while others with similar education and experience were not. Our exploration eventually enabled us to teach others to master 8 Key Abilities that transform lives from ordinary to...
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Overwhelmed? Here are 7 Ways to Reduce It

What does your brand of Overwhelm look like for you? This time of year, overwhelm runs rampant. The pressure of holiday gifting, parties, family, friends, spending, and work can spiral out of control. Perhaps you worry over Covid, flu and RSV, or needing to prod your kids to finish school work and college applications. If...
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What the Inner Critic or Inner Judge Does For Us

But Is There Another Way? Amanda was extremely attached to her father, not only because he was loving, kind and supportive. His criticism and pushing motivated her to achieve “The Win.” With “The Win” came the dazzle of fatherly approval. To get the approval she craved, Amanda pushed herself to become an all A student....
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What is Neuro-Linguistic Programming?

And how does NLP Factor into the Extraordinary Self® Program? Did you ever wonder why some people seem stuck in their lives, while others are thriving? Why do these thriving individuals reach outcome after outcome as they move forward in time? Back in the 60s, two men, Richard Bandler and John Grinder (along with Judith...
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Should You End Your Relationship or Marriage?

Insights from Dr. Diane Kramer, a Relationship Therapist for 35 years, and Co-Founder of Extraordinary Self Online e-Courses Ending a long relationship is not an easy process. It can be financially, emotionally and physically gut wrenching, even if you are the one wanting out. Do you have to go? It depends. Sometimes yes and sometimes...
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New Directions: Finding Yourself, Your Mission and Your Goals

Recently, a coaching client confessed to my Extraordinary Self partner, Donna, and myself, that she did not know what she wanted next in her life. I was perplexed. This person had developed an amazingly successful business. Puzzled, I asked myself how can someone like her not know what she wants next in her life? How...
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How Stress Can Impact Your Relationships

When I think of all the Relationships I have helped over the years, one aspect stands out more than any other — the impact of stress! The stress factor often differentiates good, successful relationships from those that need a lot of help. Why is Stress, or better yet, your Stress level, such a big factor...
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Overcome the Marital Vicious Cycle

How Change Happened I dashed their individual hopes, and began to point out their Vicious Cycle to them. Within a few sessions, they each began to recognize and say to each other: There is the Vicious Cycle again. We got triggered. Let’s STOP! Once they each calmed down, they learned two important things: (1) To...
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What me, a Pleaser? Breaking the Vicious Cycle

I picked up the phone and listened to Grace on the other end. She started crying and said through her tears, “I am 46, with three grown kids and divorced. I want a relationship, but am so confused. Have I now found the right guy?” My response in my softest and most empathetic voice was,...
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