Have you left a toxic relationship through breakup or divorce – or are you thinking of leaving? In most cases, leaving opens you to new problems on top of the old – pain, disorientation, frustration, confusion, lack of direction, emptiness, sadness, even full mourning.
Recovery means moving out of all that pain!
In Recovery, as you move away from falling apart – lack of direction, sleeplessness, sleepiness, overeating, unhappiness, depression, shame, guilt, anger, etc. – it is possible to feel whole again and make your way toward the light. And that light can be filled with love, compassion, self-care, joy, creative productivity and energized contentment.
Sounds great, right? But you already know that a few words alone won’t result in a quick fix.
Caught in the negative emotional web of bad feelings, it is difficult to move out of our own quicksand and get unstuck. But if you really want – and are determined – to live a life full of self-love, confidence, compassion and joy, there are ways! You can do it!
How do I know? I am the survivor of two divorces and numerous breakups. Until I transformed myself and then met my husband of over 30 years, I was stuck like a fish on the end of a line, repeating the same dysfunctional choices over and over.
What kept me going? The core belief that there had to be a better way, a better life and a better relationship. This core belief was born out of all the romance novels and success movies and role model books I had absorbed over the years – all with tear-worthy happy endings. I believed in happy endings!
Focus on Recovery
You may be struggling now and about to give up on the dream of a happy ending; your beliefs about your future may be shattered. That happens to a lot of people. But if you focus on Recovery, it will happen one tiny step at a time, moving from your inner work to outer. That is what we specialize in with our three Relationships, Breakup and Divorce Recovery Programs – delivering to you the nurturing, understanding, insight, and tools that you need to re-develop yourself into self-love, confidence, and a secure, bright future.
I was helped through in my time of feeling shattered so I know it can be done. I remember back to a particular breakup – and then getting started toward self-love and recovery…
What did I do to break out of the pain that started in my second marriage and followed into divorce?
By then, I was already in my 40s. My child was a teenager and my career as a psychologist and coach was already in its middle years. Sounds good, but I was a ‘hot mess’ on the inside. I spent a lot of time reflecting on my next steps. I realized those steps had to be different than what had come before.
What about you? How are you feeling on the inside? As a consequence, what is and is not happening on the outside for you now?
Insight for Change
Instead of focusing on the next relationship to fill my emptiness and heal the pain, I realized I needed to focus on me. Something was wrong inside me and it was time to fix it. With help, and reflecting back on my childhood, I realized my insides were almost never filled with feelings from loving connections with my parents. Instead, there was emptiness, resulting in my chronic low self-worth and lack of confidence. The result – I had attracted men who were similar to my parents and reinforced my emptiness.
We are all different and have different stories that influenced who we are. I do. You do. What is most important in Recovery is that you find solid ground from which you can realize what has gone wrong and what needs to change. At the Extraordinary Self Programs, we have guided thousands to deeper self-understandings and that shift toward self-love, self-confidence and a fulfilling life.
When I was in Recovery from my second divorce, I learned that my insides were a reality that could change, as can yours. What did I do? I hired a coach, read every book on self-growth and development, went to transformational programs – and experimented with filling myself with positive self-loving feelings daily as well as everything about a successful life. My beliefs that I was worthy and could create what I wanted started to grow – as yours will if you work with my partner, Donna, and myself, Dr. Diane through your Recovery.
One of my friends, Andre, taught me to record my own voice saying affirming and loving words to myself and play the tape early in the morning on first awakening. It had worked for him. I started that practice as well as one of morning meditation. This helped to lighten my mood and feel better about myself.
I knew I needed to go deeper and uncover more about me. I added journal writing to the coaching. My friend, Andrea, was the role model for that. She had begun journaling at 16 and still kept at it. As I worked on me, with help, I started to develop personal insight.
Underneath my bad feelings were beliefs that I did not deserve and was not lovable. I had never received the nurturing and caring that give the lucky ones feelings of self-love and self-confidence from childhood – the feelings my brother possessed.
What about you? Do you need to uncover the core beliefs under your own bad feelings? And replace them with positive beliefs and good feelings. We can help.
Once I discovered what was missing, I looked for ways to fix what was broken. It wasn’t an easy job and still haunts me for very brief periods many years later. But I now have the awareness and the tools to do the necessary repairs. I don’t fight the feelings. I accept – and move out from there, giving love to me and the “little Diane” within.
Strengthening my self-love gave me confidence and allowed me to make really excellent short and long-term choices in my relationships and career. Now, I am able to maintain my boundaries and embrace the good – as compared to the old needy me who reached out to fill the emptiness with the same old, same old toxic kind of people.
Once I learned to how to change me, I began to teach others. My own transformation led to my creating the original award-winning Extraordinary Self Programs focused on self-love, confidence and bright, powerful futures. Our Programs are even richer and more widely available now.
What about you? Every story is different, and we can help. Are you ready to move from shattered to fixing what is broken? Are you ready to continually self-love, gain confidence and go for the life you might not even realize you deserve? What are you losing by not transforming you? We can help!
Choices for Recovery
Download our free e-book – Recovering from Toxic Relationships, Breakup and Divorce Recovery e-book– including Nine Steps for Recovery.
Sign up for one of our Toxic Relationships, Breakup and Divorce Recovery Programs. These Extraordinary Self Transformation Programs, comes in three versions – a private coaching program over 9 months to help you evolve to the next level of self-love, self-confidence and a fulfilling life, a group program and third, a self-study version, each to fit your budget.
Sign up for one of our other Extraordinary Self Transformation Programs.
In addition to Toxic Relationship Breakup and Divorce Recovery, our Extraordinary Self Transformation Programs include live coaching (Individual or group) and 7 intensive powerful self-study courses for self development with one focused on Extraordinary Relationships and Win/Win Communication.. Our core course, 8 Key Abilities for Your Extraordinary Future, has won multiple awards and helped thousands. Our other courses include courses on stress, self-talk, emotions, self-defeating patterns, relationships, and self-worth.
About Us
Dr. Diane (Kramer) is a long-time relationship and business coach, psychologist, divorce mediator, author and marriage counselor. Dr. Diane brings insight, wisdom, warmth, and powerful tools to help her clients recover from toxic and painful relationships with self and/or other – in personal life and business. She teaches the mind set, skill set and action set to feel continually self-loving and powerful while reaching success goals time-after-time in all areas of your life.
Donna (Anselmo) M.S., Dr. Diane’s partner, is a long-time business and relationship coach, best-selling author, hypnotherapist, radio personality, and branding/marketing specialist who uses wisdom, compassion, insight and powerful tools to help her clients to recover from toxic and painful relationships with self and/or others. She also leads her clients to build successful lives, step-by-step, in the areas of relationships, career, business and personal life.
Co-founders of the award-winning Extraordinary Self Transformation Programs, Donna and Dr. Diane draw their tools from Psychology, Neuroscience, Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP), and MIndfulness Practices.
Donna and Dr. Diane have helped thousands of Extraordinary Self graduates transform.