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A dirty plate on the counter. A silence that goes on all evening. The argument two people know so well that each could say the other’s lines.
Every couple has one of its own. For some it is the dishes or the money. For others it is sex, children, work, or time. Whatever yours is about, the problem is real.
After fifty years as a psychologist and marriage counselor, I can tell you something about that fight. It is not that you fight too much. It is that the same fight never ends. It comes back, whatever the subject.
I call it the Couple’s Vicious Cycle. This book is not about changing your partner. It shows you how to find your own part in the cycle and change that part. You can do that whether or not your partner ever joins you.
Chapter 1 begins with that dirty plate. You will meet the couple it belonged to, and you will find out what their fight was really about. It takes about twenty minutes to read. Please type your email here and I will send it to you.
The book itself is coming to Amazon in the middle of November. I will let you know when it is there. The Kindle edition will be $0.99 for the first month.
Ten short chapters. Each one ends with a few journal questions. You take one real moment from your relationship, the one you can picture right now, and carry it through the whole book. By the end, you can see the pattern, name your part, and choose differently.
The course follows the same path as the book, one screen at a time. You hear real conversations. You practice with guided audio and exercises. You write in a private journal that only you can see. Already have the book? The last page tells you where to start.
One question has followed me through fifty years of work. Why do some people stay caught in painful patterns, while others keep learning and build lives they love?
I started as a research psychologist. I taught for four decades in the State University of New York system. And for fifty years I sat with individuals, couples, and families as a psychologist and marriage counselor.
I have watched this fight play out thousands of times in my office. I know where the exit is, and I can show you where to look for yours.
This book grew out of that work, the Extraordinary Self courses, and my own life.
Our old patterns show up most clearly with the people we love. So this book is about those relationships, and about the part each of us plays in them.
I hope it helps you see your own part of the pattern, and change it.
If you want to go further than the book, there is a course that follows it. Toward an Extraordinary Relationship: The Course walks the same path as the book, one lesson at a time, with guided audio, practice exercises, and a private journal that only you can see.
It is one of seven Extraordinary Self courses. The core course is Awaken 8 Key Abilities for Your Extraordinary Future. It is built on the original Extraordinary Self Program, taught in person to thousands of people.
The other six courses each go deeper into one part of the 8 Key Abilities: relationships, stress, self-talk, self-confidence, self-defeating patterns, and emotional resilience. You take them online, at your own pace.
Every course has guided audio visualizations, workbook pages, role models, practice exercises, and a private journal. Every course comes with a thirty-day, full-refund guarantee.
Therapists, counselors, and coaches: the book and the courses are designed to be used alongside your work with clients.
Why does such a small moment have so much power? Chapter 1 answers that, in about twenty minutes. Click the button and I will send it to you.
P.S. If you are reading this late at night, after another one, I want to tell you something first. You are not crazy. The same fight really does keep coming back, and there is a reason. Chapter 1 shows you the reason. If it is not for you, you have lost twenty minutes. If it is, you will know by the second page.
Warmly, Dr. Diane