Extraordinary Self® is Your Chance for Meaningful Change | Transformational Programs for Personal Growth and Professional Development.

How To Reinvent Yourself After a Breakup

Sign up for Our News and Blog Alerts - Receive 10% OFF Coupon

Angel warrior rising from the ashes and healing from a breakup

How To Reinvent Yourself After a Breakup or Divorce!

Suffering from Breakup Pain? Ready to Reinvent Yourself and Become More Powerful?

How to reinvent yourself after a breakup or divorce – We start by dealing with the pain from your breakup or divorce.  We move on to your Journey of Growth! Let’s build your peace of mind on the inside and confidence on the outside. And develop the skills to reach success after success on your chosen life path. 

Toxic relationships, breakups and divorce are not fun. We, Donna and Diane (Your Breakup Coaches) have been there. Wrenching apart hurts. It’s disorienting and heartbreaking to pull away from the life you knew.

Perhaps you’re suffering sleepless nights and exhausting days. Or sleeping too much and feeling depressed and depleted. Your mind and body may be wrestling with feelings of anger, anxiety, jealousy, revenge, shame, worthlessness, and/or emptiness. Or perhaps you’re feeling some relief and freedom – even if it’s tinged with sadness and distress over losing what might have been.

Feeling pain, sadness and disorientation is a normal step when reinventing yourself after a breakup. The truth is that time heals most wounds. With the right help and tools, you can even speed up the time to self-soothe and heal. Our blog, 7 Ways to Recreate Yourself after a Breakup or Divorce provides some help. But then what?

We invite you on a year-long journey of self-discovery, healing and reinvention. Below, learn how our Program can help you reinvent yourself after a breakup or divorce – and thrive in extraordinary ways as you move forward.


Breakup and Divorce Recovery Program

Comprehensive Journey to Personal Growth and Extraordinary Success: Steps to Reinvention

Calm Your Inner Self

When relationships disintegrate, we experience deeper stress, worry, anxiety and fear of the future. This often leads to feelings of overwhelm and distress, sleepless nights and confusing days. Let’s change that in reinvention stages. Together, step by step, starting with this empowering introductory module, you will focus on calm mindful awareness.

• Feel heard and understood in terms of what has happened, what you are feeling, and where you are at now.
• Grow calmer, as you learn to use our stress-lowering breathing exercises and tools for detaching from stress and negativity.
• Gain clarity on what type of goals and changes will help you enjoy more satisfaction and success ahead.


Develop Unshakeable Self Worth

Failed relationships take a toll on our identity, leading us to question our own self-worth. This creates negativity, self-attacks, hopelessness, and lack of energy, purpose and direction. Chronic low self-worth makes it even worse. There is a better way! In this Module you will develop a sense of deep self-acceptance and peace of mind. You will breathe new life into the tapestry of you. It’s time to uncover the unshakeable foundation of High Self-Worth.

• Build peace of mind and Unshakeable Self-Worth. New Liberating Beliefs will lessen fear and worry.
• Enjoy more self-compassion, self-love, self-confidence and self-trust. Lower anxiety.
• Feel more energetic and less hopeless.
• Start changing patterns with deeper self-regard – for a better life and relationships ahead.


Reinvent Yourself – Transform Self-Defeating Patterns

Self-Defeating Patterns keep you from having the life and wonderful relationship(s) you want. It’s highly likely that repeating patterns, such as over-pleasing, negative self-talk, and self-attacks have led to your current distress. These patterns become so ingrained that they arise automatically – below the level of conscious awareness – and hold you back from creating your dream life and relationship. Now that you have been strengthening self-worth, you are ready for the next stage in your Reinvention Journey! You will change patterns that set you up for failure in the past – and create a new and far more satisfying life and relationship story.

• Recognize and detach from Self-Defeating Patterns.
• Detach quickly and effectively from these Self-Defeating Patterns.
• Identify and transform the underlying patterns so you move you forward faster – with more inner power and confidence.


Re-create Your Inner Critic as Your Inner Coach

Connecting with and managing your Self-Talk by shifting your relationship with your Inner Voice will empower you to be the person you are set on becoming. Now that you’re experiencing higher self-worth and less distress through your recent changes, the next stage is learning to let go of shame, guilt, self-blame, and self-attacks. Exploring and countering the inner sources of negativity, self-doubt and self-attacks is empowering. Your inner voice will become supportive and helpful. And good feelings will follow.

Develop more confidence as you transform and shift the roles, inner voices, and behaviors of your Inner Judge and Obstacle Parts.
Empower your inner core so you no longer beat yourself up or feel hopeless.
Let go of shame, guilt and fear of failure, criticism or rejection as you empower yourself with strong new inner resources.


Evolve Your Vision

It’s not easy to get what you want when you don’t really know what that is or how to get it. This Module will change that! Gain clarity and focus as you explore hidden facets of you, and connect more deeply with your authentic self and desires.

Gain clarity about your evolving self-concept.
Identify your set of personal values and use them to create a vision for your positive future.
Become more intentional and act with purpose.
Refine your authentic personal and/or professional missions, which will act as beacons for your future direction.


Step Into Your Success

Imagine you are standing in your own power, influencing others and getting your needs met – faster and more effectively than ever. You’re almost there! We will help you plan your new future and support you in getting there step by step. Our extraordinary goal-getting process will help ensure that you break through to a new level of success without feeling confused or overwhelmed.

Understand how to take action you never thought possible for results you never knew how to get!
Confidently move forward with purpose to reach goals that you may not even have believed you deserved in the past.
Gain the non-stop confidence you’ve needed as you enjoy extraordinary results, time and time again!



Reinvent Your Life – Own Your Own Future

Getting to your positive, empowered future means recognizing your part in past feelings, life choices, decisions, and relationships – without beating yourself up. In this Module, we enhance your “response ability” for re-creating the life and future relationships you want. This includes your relationship with you.

See and acknowledge that decisions you made in the past were based on who you were back then, and learn not to beat yourself up about them.
Truly master the ability to shift out of old automatic habits of blame, shame, guilt and self-attacks – as you take more responsibility for your feelings, decisions, and actions.
Feel more courageous, capable and confident about going for the future you want.



Prepare for the Extraordinary Relationship

With your new insight into past painful relationships, this Module will help you ensure that you do not repeat the relationship mistakes of the past. Even if you don’t want an Extraordinary Relationship with another, what you learn in this Module help you with the most important relationship in your life – the one with yourself! Prepare to operate with more love, compassion, empathy, and balance to get needs met in mutually satisfying Win/Win ways.

 Stop predicting relationship failure and prepare for success through greater awareness of what underlies Vicious Cycles in your past.
•  Learn to recognize, detach from, avoid, and/or break Vicious Cycles.
•  Gain clarity on how to cultivate the Extraordinary Relationship(s) you want.
•  Feel supported as you receive personal insight and coaching to keep future relationships positive and need satisfying.



Win/Win Communication Skills 1

Much of relationship communication starts inside our minds in the form of self-talk, automatic thinking, beliefs and perceptions – whether true or false. Sometimes our false assumptions develop into deeper false beliefs and barriers in our relationships. In this Module, we will explore “all things communication” and help develop new abilities for communicating with compassion, confidence, and


• Develop 7 Extraordinary Communication Skills that will empower you to stop communicating in ways that sabotaged relationships.
• Master the art of Win/Win Communication to avoid conflicts, arguing or withdrawing, and/or feelings of hurt and betrayal.
• Sharpen your communication skills with key practices and exercises that support trust, understanding, and rapport to help you and your partner feel heard and validated.



Win/Win Communication Skills 2

There are many nuances to Win/Win communication, including deepening one’s ability to deal with differences when communicating. This final Module will immerse you in experiential learning and practice exercises to uncover the hidden needs of crucial conversations. As a result, you will operate more powerfully and effectively in all areas of your life.


Get needs met through artful, empathetic and respectful communication.
Enhance your ability to ask for what you want and to influence others.
Develop effective ways of validating others and giving feedback.
Be able to negotiate differences and get the outcomes you want.


How To Reinvent Yourself
After a Breakup or Divorce

We provide compassionate, non-judgmental
support through breakups and divorce.

What would it take for you to go on a journey of growth? Are you ready to reinvent yourself and live a life you love?

This Transformational Program will help you move into a life with more self-love, self-worth and self-confidence. We will help you create a safe and self-loving inner space. This resilient space of inner peace will become the foundation for low-stress success in all your pursuits.

Are you ready to go on this journey of reinvention? Are you willing to tackle negative feelings like anxiety, bitterness, jealousy and self-criticism? We will help you do just that on a journey of self-discovery. You will explore within and learn to change. You will let go of limiting beliefs, such as I am not lovable and I am not good enough. We will help you shift into self-loving Liberating Beliefs that lead to learning and success.

You will learn to maintain inner peace of mind, unshakeable self-worth and self-love, even when times are difficult. From your self-loving space, you will then feel the inner strength, resilience and confidence to go out into the world and tackle life’s challenges.

Join the thousands of Extraordinary Selves who live lives of self-love and self-respect. As you do, you will learn to maintain boundaries, go for your dreams and reach the success you may not yet believe you deserve.

About Dr. Diane Kramer

Dr. Diane Kramer

Dr. Diane is a long-time breakup recovery and relationship coach, psychologist, divorce mediator, author and marriage counselor. Dr. Diane brings insight, wisdom, warmth, and powerful tools to help her clients recover from toxic and painful relationships with self and/or other – in personal life and business. She teaches the mind set, skill set and action set for clients to feel continually self-loving and powerful while reaching success goals time-after-time in all areas of their lives. Learn more >


Dr. Diane’s Story — After two painful divorces and many failed relationships, I fell into the pit of despair, feeling hopeless and worthless and yet longing for love. I could hardly get out of bed in the morning and lay there, pitying myself and feeling the anxiety of no one in my future. I heard my critical inner judge berating me with: ”There is something wrong with you. You are worthless. No one whom you want will ever want you.”

Laying there, some part of me refused to give up. This part said: “Figure out the problem and solve it! You are not stupid.” Realizing that I had to discover why I was failing again and again, I went to therapy, coaching and self-development programs to discover what was causing my failure. Read more >

About Donna Anselmo

Donna Anselmo professional ortrait

Donna helps women navigate relationship issues and breakups through empathetic coaching with goal-oriented support. Specializing in hypnotherapy, meditation and mindfulness, Donna’s wisdom, compassion, insight, and powerful tools help clients recover from painful relationships with themselves and with others. Donna leads clients step-by-step to successful and rewarding lives in the areas of relationships, career, business, and personal life. Learn more >


Donna’s Reinvention Story — Like many women I’ve known, I thought my marriage was near perfect. Sure we had occasional arguments – usually the same few, in different forms. As a child, I had seen my parents argue and thought arguments were normal. I trusted all was well and that he felt the same abiding love and loyalty for me that I did for him. So, I was beyond shocked when I discovered an inconvenient truth. He didn’t feel the same way – at least for a time. At one point, he didn’t even know if he wanted to stay together.

Realizing that, I felt heartbroken. I drifted through cycles of denial, anger, hurt, tears, emptiness, and depletion. In my despair, I realized that it’s not only the heart that breaks when you feel betrayed. It’s your spirit, your sass, and your essential life force. No longer confident in my own judgment, I castigated myself for having missed “the signs.” The more I beat myself up, the more I believed I would never feel good again. And deep down, I missed my former self and my former life. Read more >


Rise from the Ashes - Order complimentary e-book to recover from breakup and divorce