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I remember a client, Evie, telling me years ago that she could not love herself more because her mother told her to love others more than herself. That was true humility according to her mother. That kind of “mother attitude” breeds daughters (and even sons) who give up their own needs. Instead, they focus on […]

Let Me Count the Ways to Love You – and Me!

Diane Kramer

The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

Is it easier to love someone else – or yourself? For me, I found it much easier to love someone else – or did I? Actually, when I was young I longed to love another and never thought about me. I guess I believed deep down that if someone loved me and I loved them, […]

Suffering is Optional: Strategies and Beliefs for Reinvention

Diane Kramer

The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

Extraordinary Self beliefs, recreate yourself, relationships, self-reinvention, Suffering is Optional

Do you want to move into a world where “Suffering is Optional” and you really get what you want in your life? With a bit of learning and unlearning, you can enjoy your best life. relationships and career. In this article, we lay out strategies and beliefs that are crucial for reinventing your reality and […]

7 Ways to Recreate Yourself After a Breakup or Divorce

Diane Kramer

BREAKUP AND DIVORCE RECOVERY, The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

breakup recovery, recreate yourself, self-reinvention

“How can I recreate or reinvent myself when I am so broken?” asked one of our clients. She had hired me to help her reinvent her life after her most recent marital breakup. Holly (not her real name) had already been married two times and had gone through as many relationships as the women starring […]

pop art Brunette woman depicting someone working through a relationship breakup

How to Get Over a Breakup!

Diane Kramer

BREAKUP AND DIVORCE RECOVERY, The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

Wondering how you’ll get through it? In having helped so many go through relationship struggles, breakup and divorce, we, Dr. Diane and Donna, offer you our advice for How To Get Over a Breakup. Everyone is different, of course. However, in our practice, those suffering from relationship breakup fall into two general categories: 1. Still […]

black woman pop art image with expression of serious reflection.

When Will The Pain Stop? When Will I Feel Better?

Diane Kramer

BREAKUP AND DIVORCE RECOVERY, The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

breakup and divorce recovery, breakup recovery, Relationship Vicious Cycle, troubled relationship

When will the pain stop so I will feel better? That’s a question so many have asked my partner, Donna, and I over the years, while helping those suffering the pain of breakup, divorce or toxic relationships. The question also comes from those still stuck in a toxic relationship. Here is what I tell them. […]

Suffering Is Optional!

Diane Kramer

The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

Suffering is Optional

Really, suffering is optional? Isn’t that ridiculous? That’s what I used to think. How about you? What do you think about the statement: “Suffering is Optional!” I always knew that when things went wrong, my bad feelings acted up and I felt bad – I suffered. My bad feelings ranged from anxiety, anger and jealousy to […]

Pop Art image of thinking woman in gray suit.

You’re Invited to Free Webinar: How to Get Over a Breakup on March 6, 2025

Diane Kramer

The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

Wondering how to get over a breakup? We know it is not easy. We (Donna and Dr. Diane) have been there and done that. We learned how to recover and reinvent ourselves and have taught our methods to thousands – with astonishing success. Now we’re ready to share those methods with you when we present […]

What Does It Take to Reinvent Yourself?

Diane Kramer

The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

Reinventing you? Are you up for it? If you could reinvent you, what would you choose to change? Surprisingly, or unsurprisingly, most people say the same thing. They want to feel really good almost all the time. They want nurturing, loving relationships in which their needs are met. They want great health. They want a delicious […]

The Vicious Cycle: How Relationships Fail

Diane Kramer

The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

I (Dr. Diane) have been a marriage counselor and relationship coach for more than 35 years. When I first started out, I was shocked by how many relationships failed. The divorce rate has been at 50% for years. And, according to research, another 25% of marriages are unhappy. Why so many? What sets so many […]

When To Divorce

Diane Kramer

The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

Trying to Decide about a Divorce? Welcome – I am guessing that you are reading this because you are in the in-between stage, meaning that you haven’t braved the divorce barrier to get to the other side. Maybe this article will help. But why me? What gives me the right to say I am an […]

A Relationship Journey of Growth

Diane Kramer

RELATIONSHPS, The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

Like many of you, I failed at one relationship after another – until I went through a life-changing personal transformation and found the perfect one for me. We have been happy with each other for almost 35 years. Here is my story: On the outside, I looked like I was doing fine. A psychologist […]

Letting Go of Decision Angst to Get Unstuck

Donna Anselmo

SELF-DEFEATING PATTERNS, The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

If you’ve ever found yourself struggling with decisions, worry, or anxiety about the future, this article is for you. I was one of those people who convinced myself I needed lots of time and information to make the right decision. I took plenty of time. I was judicious and properly cautious. Mind you, there’s nothing […]

Overcoming the Marital Vicious Cycle

Diane Kramer

RELATIONSHPS, The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

For 35 years, I have been treating couples, helping them to find the kind of relationship we all dream of – supportive, trusting, communicative, loving and respectful. It is the relationship where partners really listen to each other and learn to not hurt each other. It is a fantasy for the many and a reality […]

5 Steps to Overcome Self-Defeating Patterns

Diane Kramer

SELF-DEFEATING PATTERNS, The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

Extraordinary Self Key Ability #2 By Dr. Diane Last week‘s blog focused on Extraordinary Self Key Ability #1, Unshakeable Self-Worth – that core foundation of feeling good about you no matter what. It takes time, skills and practice to be able to rest in that state continually. You may need to learn to be more […]

From Low or Fluctuating Self-Worth to Unshakeable Self-Worth:

Diane Kramer

SELF WORTH, The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

Extraordinary Self Key Ability #1 Low, or even fluctuating, Self-Worth takes an incredible toll on our lives. You have low self-worth if you are suffering from feelings of inadequacy, self-criticism, guilt, shame, poor relationships, anxiety – or a sense of not being enough and not having enough. The good news is that you can change […]

Toxic Relationship Feelings – From Painful to Positive and Powerful!

Diane Kramer

RELATIONSHPS, SELF-MASTERY, The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

If you have gone through a painful relationship breakup, saying you are not at your best is probably an understatement. Many say they feel disorganized and confused, anxious about the future and bad about themselves. Does that sound like you? Do you have sleepless nights and stressful days? Or are you sleeping too much? Gaining […]

Shattered? Rebuild Your Fulfilling Life with Self-Love and Confidence

Diane Kramer

RELATIONSHPS, SELF WORTH, The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

Have you left a toxic relationship through breakup or divorce – or are you thinking of leaving? In most cases, leaving opens you to new problems on top of the old – pain, disorientation, frustration, confusion, lack of direction, emptiness, sadness, even full mourning. Recovery means moving out of all that pain! In Recovery, as […]

What Me, a Pleaser? Breaking the Vicious Cycle in Relationships

Donna Anselmo

Relationships

relationships, viscious cycle

As a therapist, I hear many stories. By asking questions, I pretty quickly get to the root of relationship issues. Often those issues reflect skills taught in our Extraordinary Self e-Courses. For example … I picked up the phone and listened to Grace on the other end. She started crying and said through her tears, […]

How To Reinvent Yourself After a Breakup Or Divorce

Diane Kramer

BREAKUP AND DIVORCE RECOVERY, RELATIONSHPS, The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

breakup and divorce recovery, reinvention, relationships

“How can I get over this breakup when I am so broken? asked one of our clients. She had hired me (Dr. Diane) as her breakup and divorce coach to help her reinvent her life after her most recent marital breakup. Holly’s Story Holly (not her real name) had already been married twice. She had […]

Revelations on Transforming a Broken Relationship

Donna Anselmo

RELATIONSHPS, The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

Like many women I’ve known, I thought my marriage was near perfect. Sure we had occasional arguments – usually the same few, in different forms. As a child, I had seen my parents argue and thought arguments were normal. I trusted all was well and that he felt the same abiding love and loyalty for […]