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What??? Am I really suggesting that your Critical Inner Judge can be a friend instead of a foe? For many, the Inner Judge is a troublesome part of self who launches inner attacks that make you feel ashamed, guilty or deficient in some way. So, how could that critical angry-sounding Inner Judge possibly become a […]

Do You Need to Love Yourself In Order to Love Others?

Diane Kramer

RELATIONSHPS, SELF WORTH, The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

inner judge, loving others, self-hatred, self-love

The answer according to most psychologists is: “It depends!” I know, that is a very unsatisfying response, so let’s dig a little deeper. If you loathe yourself, it will be very difficult to really love another. It is hard to mask self-hatred. It gets in the way of expressing loving feelings and in the way […]

Love or Fear Instinct? Impact on Predicting Relationship Behavior

Diane Kramer

Relationships, The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

Alcoholism, fear, Impact of Family Dysfunction, Love, relationships

By Dr. Diane Kramer, Extraordinary Self Online Programs Co-Founder A patient in my marital therapy practice said to me yesterday: “Dr. Diane, I used to trust my gut. Now I am not sure.” I reassured her (let’s call her Anna) that she was on the right track by doubting her gut. Why? Her gut feelings […]

8 Key Abilities that Transform Lives to Extraordinary

Diane Kramer

SELF-MASTERY, The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation, TRANSFORMATION

action plans, criticism, Goals, inner judge, mission, next step learning, obstacle parts, purpose, self-defeating patterns, self-worth

Digging into the Roots of Success In 2004, our startup team of Neuro-Linguistic Programming Trainers and Psychologists analyzed why some individuals were highly successful and emotionally positive, while others with similar education and experience were not. Our exploration eventually enabled us to teach others to master 8 Key Abilities that transform lives from ordinary to […]

illustration of overwhelmed man with head in copy machine

Overwhelmed? Here are 7 Ways to Reduce It

Diane Kramer

The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

What does your brand of Overwhelm look like for you? This time of year, overwhelm runs rampant. The pressure of holiday gifting, parties, family, friends, spending, and work can spiral out of control. Perhaps you worry over Covid, flu and RSV, or needing to prod your kids to finish school work and college applications. If […]

pop art image of woman climbing over brick wall

What the Inner Critic or Inner Judge Does For Us

Diane Kramer

The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

fear of failure, inner coach, inner critic, inner judge, motivation, transformation

But Is There Another Way? Amanda was extremely attached to her father, not only because he was loving, kind and supportive. His criticism and pushing motivated her to achieve “The Win.” With “The Win” came the dazzle of fatherly approval. To get the approval she craved, Amanda pushed herself to become an all A student. […]

What is Neuro-Linguistic Programming?

Diane Kramer

The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

Belief Changes, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, NLP, Pattern Changes

And how does NLP Factor into the Extraordinary Self® Program? Did you ever wonder why some people seem stuck in their lives, while others are thriving? Why do these thriving individuals reach outcome after outcome as they move forward in time? Back in the 60s, two men, Richard Bandler and John Grinder (along with Judith […]

pop art illustration of woman with globe

How the Extraordinary Self® Program Came to Be

Donna Anselmo

The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

In 1969, while a doctoral student in psychology – and contemplating a troubled world – Diane Kramer heard a spiritual inner voice say: “The world will shift in a positive direction with Evolution, Belief Changes and Computers.” That intriguing message set her on a course to help herself and others evolve to a life of consistent good feelings, continual inner satisfaction, and ongoing success.

Finding My Own Passion

Donna Anselmo

The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

finding your passion

Even as an introspective and insightful professional woman, I found it difficult to identify “my why.” I felt such great appetite for so many life endeavors and experiences (pasta included) that I couldn’t home in on that one special connection. I had no doubt that my family’s happiness was my “be all, end all,” but […]

Should You End Your Relationship or Marriage?

Diane Kramer

The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

knowing to doing, troubled relationship, vicious cycle

Insights from Dr. Diane Kramer, a Relationship Therapist for 35 years, and Co-Founder of Extraordinary Self Online e-Courses Ending a long relationship is not an easy process. It can be financially, emotionally and physically gut wrenching, even if you are the one wanting out. Do you have to go? It depends. Sometimes yes and sometimes […]

Black woman says she is ready for a change

New Directions: Finding Yourself, Your Mission and Your Goals

Diane Kramer

MISSION, VISION, VALUES, The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

empty map, self-discovery

Recently, a coaching client confessed to my Extraordinary Self partner, Donna, and myself, that she did not know what she wanted next in her life. I was perplexed. This person had developed an amazingly successful business. Puzzled, I asked myself how can someone like her not know what she wants next in her life? How […]

How Stress Can Impact Your Relationships

Diane Kramer

SELF-MASTERY, STRESS, The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

stress, stress and relationships, stress reactions

When I think of all the Relationships I have helped over the years, one aspect stands out more than any other — the impact of stress! The stress factor often differentiates good, successful relationships from those that need a lot of help. Why is Stress, or better yet, your Stress level, such a big factor […]

Transforming Inner Resources into Inner Power

Donna Anselmo

BELIEFS, SELF-DEFEATING PATTERNS, SELF-MASTERY, The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

inner resources, inner transformation, overcoming self-defeating patterns

Everyone has them. We’re talking about inner resources – the varying personality parts that make us tick. When transformed from hindrances to resources, they make us stronger and more capable. They also help us lead more extraordinary lives. Sadly, not everyone acknowledges these inner parts or has learned to befriend them. Does making friends or […]

Overcome the Marital Vicious Cycle

Diane Kramer

The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

Marital Vicious Cycle, Relationship Vicious Cycle

How Change Happened

I dashed their individual hopes, and began to point out their Vicious Cycle to them. Within a few sessions, they each began to recognize and say to each other: There is the Vicious Cycle again. We got triggered. Let’s STOP!

Once they each calmed down, they learned two important things: (1) To treat each other with significant respect, and (2) To talk out their needs, asking for what they each want and asking for collaboration and compromise.

My Journey from Ordinary to Extraordinary

Donna Anselmo

The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

“What if you could change the voices in your head that keep you from going for what you really want?”
That really struck a chord with me! Earlier that morning, while visiting conference trade show booths, I spied a business opportunity I wanted to pursue. Having recently developed a course for creating winning B2B sales proposals, I wanted to ask for a meeting with one of the trade show booth vendors.

As I approached that booth, a voice in my head said, “Maybe this isn’t the right time … Maybe it would be rude to talk about my own business when he is trying to showcase his business (which was a university business program). His school paid for the booth, not me … Maybe my business partner would prefer that we discuss it first …

What me, a Pleaser? Breaking the Vicious Cycle

Diane Kramer

The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

pleaser personality, relationships, vicious cycle

I picked up the phone and listened to Grace on the other end. She started crying and said through her tears, “I am 46, with three grown kids and divorced. I want a relationship, but am so confused. Have I now found the right guy?” My response in my softest and most empathetic voice was, […]

Overcome Your Self-Defeating Patterns

Donna Anselmo

SELF-DEFEATING PATTERNS, The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

self-defeating patterns, stress, worry

Embracing New Skills Unlocks Your Potential Wonder why you’ve been stuck in the same old, same old? Have you wanted to dig out, but believe you can’t change? Are you feeling like change is a hopeless cause? Then, you’ll want to meet Beverly, the role model we introduce in Extraordinary Self® courses. Beverly learned how […]

Be Your Own Change Agent

Donna Anselmo

The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

Be the Change You Want to See in Your Life Like you, we’ve been deeply concerned by the impact of Coronavirus on our communities, the health of those we know and love, the jobs we hold, companies we work for, and lifestyles we’ve adopted. Life as we knew it has been disrupted, and the fear […]

Extraordinary Self® Beliefs to Move You Forward

Donna Anselmo

BELIEFS, The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

success

Adopting a Set of Liberating Beliefs Will Fuel Your Success Extraordinary Selves have learned to rely on a learning mindset. They figure out what information and resources they need to succeed, then they take the steps needed to get there. The result is more breakthrough outcomes, consistently. What’s a breakthrough outcome? It’s a big result […]

What Holds You Back from the Life You Want?

Donna Anselmo

The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

Extraordinary Self, fear, fear of failure, Self Assessment

Don’t Settle! Learn the Secrets of Change What keeps you from enjoying more of life? What worries make it difficult to fall asleep at night? Do fears hold you back from striving to reach big goals? No matter who you are, or what you’ve accomplished already, fear can be paralyzing. For many, it gets in […]

Living Your Best Vibe Podcast Features Dr. Diane Kramer

Donna Anselmo

IN THE NEWS, The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

Living Your Best Vibe, Lizzie Brayton, Podcast

Ready for a dive into what it means to live as your Extraordinary Self®? “Setting criteria for what she wanted in her life was a game changer for Dr. Diane Kramer, founder of the Extraordinary Self® Program.” — Lizzie Brayton, Living Your Best Vibe Podcast Dr. Kramer, along with partner Donna Anselmo, recently moved the […]

Are Your Beliefs Ensuring More Extraordinary in Your Life?

Donna Anselmo

BELIEFS, The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

Extraordinary Self beliefs, failure, success

Do You Believe in Yourself? Do you wish you had more confidence? Do you hope for more influence or control over your life? Then learn the Key Beliefs of Extraordinary Selves. First, Extraordinary Selves believe in their own intrinsic self worth. As a result, they are not easily dissauded and discouraged from reaching for goals. […]

Welcome to Extraordinary

Extraordinary Self

IN THE NEWS, The Art and Science of Personal and Professional Transformation

Your Extraordinary Future Awaits! We are very excited to welcome you to the new ExtraordinarySelf.com! This blog—and the e-learning programs we’ve developed to go with it—are the outgrowth of longstanding dedication to understanding the beliefs, thoughts, insights and behaviors leading to success and satisfaction in life and work. We want you to be satisfied with […]