Digging into the Roots of Success
Back in 2004, our startup team of Neuro-Linguistic Programming Trainers and Psychologists analyzed why some individuals were highly successful, while others with similar education and experience were not.
Our exploration eventually enabled us to teach others to master 8 Key Abilities that transform lives from to extraordinary. These abilities became the framework for our award-winning Extraordinary Self® Program.
Our original in-person training helped thousands of people change inside for more success outside. Now, our online learning platform, comprehensive 8 Key Abilities for Your Extraordinary Future e-Course, and our selection of shorter targeted Resource courses, opens our powerful change process to many more people. Here’s how it all came about:
Our R&D team started by exploring what it means to be “Extraordinary.” We later defined Extraordinary Selves as those who maintained good inner feelings about themselves, while continually working toward and reaching outer goals. Each of us had met people like that, but did not know how these peak performers did it. Our job was to find out!
How did these Extraordinary Selves maintain high self-worth and continually reach goal after goal in all areas of their lives?
After identifying about 20 “Extraordinary Self” role models, we set to work figuring out what they all had in common. Turned out they all had mastered eight key abilities. Those abilities allowed them to maintain good feelings about themselves, while reaching success goal after success goal.
Once we identified the 8 Key Abilities, we wondered if and how we could teach others to master the 8 Key Abilities.
8 Key Abilities that Transform Lives to Extraordinary:
Key Ability 1 – Unshakeable Self-Worth. Extraordinary Self role models had found a way to feel good about themselves – even if they encountered troubling feelings. They also held deep liberating beliefs that reminded them that they were lovable, worthwhile and okay as people – no matter what. These individuals were not born that way. Like most people, they struggled through childhood. They also had worked at convincing themselves that they were okay, even if their parents had been abusive or critical.
What about you? Do you value yourself highly? Would it help if you did that consistently?
Key Ability 2 – Overcoming Self-Defeating Patterns. Extraordinary Selves role models had learned to recognize when they were stuck or feeling bad – and the patterns behind it. Once they recognized and acknowledged their negative feelings of guilt, fear, anger, disappointment, hurt, etc., they detached from them. Our role models also learned to look at what was causing their “stuckness.” And, they learned to identify any limiting beliefs that held negative feelings and patterns in place. Then, they found ways to change their thoughts, feelings, beliefs and actions so they could move on to their goals.
Do you catch yourself in self-defeating patterns? Do you want to internalize more helpful patterns?
Key Ability 3 – Setting and holding a clear Mission and Vision. Guiding themselves by mission, purpose and vision was very important to the people we studied. Mission and Vision kept them motivated and on track. Learning how to hold that vision and act on it helped them succeed.
Are you acting with clear intention and purpose in life? Have you identified a mission that moves you and motivates you to keep going? Take a moment to think about how your life might change if you did!
Key Ability 4 – Setting Specific Goals and Action Plans. Extraordinary Self role models set specific Goals based on Mission and Vision, which kept them highly motivated. They were good at setting big goals that led to breakthroughs for them. They were adept at identifying goals that were in their control or influence (so actually do-able) and didn’t waste time on the unachievable. They also developed Action Plans that served as road maps for reaching their Goals. As important, they knew how to get back on track if they fell off track.
Do you set the right goals for you? Or stretch goals that will lead to breakthroughs for you?
Key Ability 5 – Next-Step Learning. The system for moving toward goals in a positive, highly motivating way is to complete a small step toward a chosen goal and reward oneself. When Extraordinary Selves can’t / couldn’t complete a step, they stopped and figured out what learning or resource was needed to finish that step. They learned from their feedback at each step. These Extraordinary Self role models followed this “Step, Learn, Reward” process to move forward. Their mantra was “There is no failure – only failure to learn.”
(Once our Extraordinary Self role models started moving toward a goal, they also learned how to overcome self-defeating patterns – if any got in the way.)
Do you get frustrated and stop when efforts don’t work out? Do you need to master how to keep going? How might you do that?
Key Ability 6 – Take 100% Responsibility. We discovered that Extraordinary Selves did not blame or complain. Instead they took 100% responsibility for their part in the world, their feelings, and their relationships. They took 100% responsibility for managing their own feelings. They did what they could to move forward, and if they did not progress to their goals, they figured out what they had to learn to get where they wanted to go.
Are your feelings triggering the wrong results for you? If yes, know you can change that. You just need to learn how.
Key Ability 7 – Transformation of Inner Judge and Obstacle Parts (Patterns). The Inner Judge is a part of us that comes through as a critical inner voice that beats us up inside. It’s like having the inner voice of a critical parent. The inner criticisms and taunts from an internal bad parent can make us feel guilt, shame, low self-worth and anxiety or anger. These inner criticisms and taunts show up as the limiting beliefs and self-defeating patterns that can slow us down or stop us from going for what we desire.
The Extraordinary Selves we studied had learned to turn that inner bad parent into an Inner Coach who encourages them to move forward, and helps them to learn at each Next Step, when necessary.
Do you hear a critical voice in your mind? Would you like to Empower Your Self-Talk? We offer an e-Course to help. Our 8 Key Abilities course focuses on this area, too.
Key Ability 8 – Developing Win/Win Relationships. Extraordinary Selves understood the need to influence others and/or get help from them when targeting goals. They learned to identify others’ needs and their own. They learned how to go into rapport with others, negotiate, give to get, and target mutual need satisfaction. And, developing Win/Win relationships led them to more inner satisfaction and outer success.
Are you letting negative feelings control your actions and relationships? What if you could master that change feelings and relationships for the better?
What About You?
Have you developed the Eight Key Abilities that transform life to extraordinary? Is your life, career and relationship moving along smoothly and positively from one goal to another? Are you feeling good about you and valuing yourself as you go? If your answer is not ‘yes’, please visit ExtraordinarySelf.com, where our courses will help you transform inside for the results you want inside and out!
Awaken 8 Key Abilities for Your Extraordinary Future!
Extraordinary Self® Program, e-Courses, Coaching and Resources will help you transform inside, so you experience more good feelings more consistently. They also will help you learn what and how to change so you get the specific results you desire.
Just click on Catalog in the top navigation bar, and select e-Course, 8 Key Abilities for your Extraordinary Future. This comprehensive e-Course is based on the award-winning Extraordinary Self® Program that has helped thousands achieve their goals. It will guide you through developing the 8 Key Abilities of Extraordinary Selves – step-by-step. This rich e-course also comes with weekly e-mail coaching and live Q&A sessions to help you stay on track, sustain your changes, and reach goals you set.
Ready for a change? Start today. Wondering what change to target? Take our free Self-Assessment.